First day of the new season was really quite nice with sun and light winds. The course was damp with one temporary and rather hairy greens, only bettered by Joff's facial fungus. The theme this year was going to be birds, and last year's champion gave a good impression of a road-runner, a high speed cockerill, who left the field standing with 44 points. The course, and leader, were both short and so scores were high with crisps being bought with 30 and 31 points. It is to be noted that Barry bears some resemblance to a Glossy Ibis, with a sparkling plumage and a long beak which vaps at times. Some of our better players feel that they do not need to fill in their cards properly, either using code names or not putting in their handicaps nor any crispy shots they might have acquired. The administration may feel that their card is invalid or that they deserve penalty shots. You have been warned before so please play the game and make it easy to publish the results. (Love and kisses, ed).